


Calm Down, Santiago

by author_abz



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Domestic Bliss, Domesticity, Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2431640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/author_abz/pseuds/author_abz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Holt nods and walks back to his office, leaving Amy to notice the circle of people surrounding them, staring."</p><p>Five times Amy makes a scene during work at the precinct.</p><p>And one time she doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Slight canon divergence, since my fic outline predates even the spoilers of Amy still being with Teddy... but after this chapter you can pretend that it's all just future!canon. I certainly will/am. 
> 
> Much thanks to my beta [ashisfriendly](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ashisfriendly)!!! I love you bunches.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fact - the idea - that Jake loves Amy had become such an integral part of their identity that she really is terrified of losing it.

There's a tightness in Amy's shoulders she can't get rid of, even though she keeps going to the gym more frequently  and she has even gotten a massage a few times. She's closed a monumental amount of cases, but it takes her a few months to realize it isn't related to any stressful cases, how often she calls her Mom, or how often she and Teddy hang out that week.

She realizes it's fear, and there's a very awkward week when she walks around trying to tell herself that she's safe, that she's never been scared before in all her time on the force. Criminals with guns don't scare her - they're basically just loser scum - so the tightness in her shoulders confuses her. Amy can't shake or identify the reason for the tightness until suddenly it intensifies to the point there's a tightness in her chest and she has to stop and consciously think, _'Breathe.'_

 _Jake._ One of Amy's short gasps of breath is of relief. 'I'm worried _about Jake_.' It makes much more sense now, and that's calming even as her whole body freezes up for a minute, completely paralyzed by the full weight of her fear. She gets it, and she should be able to control it now. She takes deep breaths and mentally chants to herself, "Jake is a good detective. Jake is a great detective. Jake is smart and he'll be fine. Jake is a great detective."

She manages to start breathing normally again, but not before Rosa stops by her desk. "Santiago, are you okay? You look all ... weird."

Amy nods but can't turn her head to meet her colleague's concerned face. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Rosa follows her gaze to Jake's empty seat, and puts a hand on her shoulder. "He's gonna be _fine_ ," she says emphatically. "Probably having the time of his life - hanging out with mobsters all day." She walks away chuckling, and somehow Amy feels worse after Diaz's cheerful declaration. _'Jake is a good (great) detective. He'll be fine. He'll be fine.'_

* * *

 

Another month goes by with Jake being gone (dangerous undercover work) and the tightness lingers in Amy's shoulders and back, even though she keeps telling herself she's got it under control. She has a routine down; she chants _'Jake's a good (great) detective. Jake can handle himself in the field. He'll be fine._ ' and she pairs that with deep breathing. It works.

Or, it mostly works - she doesn't get frozen or start to hyperventilate looking at an empty desk anymore, but she's still nervous and tight and more on edge than she wants to be for months at a time. On the plus side, she reasons, she's being even more vigilant than usual; catching more collars so her numbers have gone way up.

Amy tries not to think about why she's afraid, or why the fear is so constant - she also really tries not to think about why she's afraid, or why the fear is so constant. She also really tries not to think about how it's affecting her non-work life. Teddy has definitely noticed how distracted she's been. After two weeks of Amy not telling him what was bugging her and acting disinterested when he tried to get her mind off of it, he broke up with her. She spends all of that weekend and most of the next week moping, but she doesn't even finish her first pint of ice cream. The disappointment at losing a great boyfriend feels normal somehow.

During a family dinner at her parents' house, Amy is so distracted that she accidentally tunes out her niece's entire story about her friends from school. Then in her excessive apology she offers to take her spoiled niece shopping sometime. Her mother asks her how she is during dinner prep, and Amy wants to say something - her mother can read the tenseness in her shoulders and can tell that there's quite a bit of makeup hiding the dark circles under her eyes. She doesn't lie and say everything is fine - but she puts her off at arm's length, explaining that she can't say anything because it's an open case.

Her family understands that part and leaves her alone about it. It's only her mother that takes Amy's sudsy, wrinkly hands in her own, saying, "They'll be okay, _mija_. Especially if they're working with you." She gives Amy a small smile, squeezing her hands reassuringly while pecking her on the cheek. All Amy can do is nod, wanting nothing more than to break down into her mother's arms.

Overall, Amy's proud of how well she's held up under the circumstances. Jake has been gone five months before Amy really acknowledges her fear out loud. Boyle and Diaz are trying to plan some kind of party for when Jake gets back from being undercover, and all Amy is trying to do is her calming, chanting breathing a few feet away at her desk.

Every time she gets to her calm head-space she hears Boyle excitedly wonder what cool thing he and Jake are going to do first, or Diaz mentioning she's missed his crime scene jokes the most.

"You're assuming he's going to come back at all!" Amy bursts out at her desk without even looking over to them. The whole bullpen gets very quiet - but she doesn't notice, turning her chair to address her colleagues. "It's _dangerous_ and he's all by himself so there's still a chance he'll get _killed_." She takes a deep breath and blinks back a few tears. "And then even if he does come back - " her voice is rising steadily in pitch and volume, "he might not be the same! We don't know what he's going through - he's changed, and he won't joke, or make fun of me - and - "

 _'He won't love me anymore'_ flashes through her head and stops her short. She doesn't remember standing, but as she looks around she sees the entire bullpen looking at her. Rosa's mouth sets a hard line the rest of her face follows, and Charles' whole face and stature are deflated, his eyes wide.

Amy tries to say 'I'm sorry,' or at least move her lips, but instead she manages an "Excuse me." She trips over and around a few objects before she finds herself a door she can close behind her, and sinks onto the floor. Clasping her hands over her mouth she screams as loudly as she can. Then she's gasping for air and chanting automatically, "Jake is a great detective. He'll be fine. He'll be fine."

 _Jake won't love me anymore._ That's her real fear - that when Jake gets back, those 'romantic stylez' feelings will be gone. Jake didn't even say anything about 'love,' but it's still in the forefront of her mind. It doesn't really matter whether he included a 'love' five months ago because all that matters is 'romantically.'

The fact - the idea - that Jake loves Amy had become such an integral part of their identity that she really is terrified of losing it. Both ridiculing and praising her for different police work, making fun of Amy's rigid personality, and telling her she looks great are all part of how Jake loves her. Any of that changing would absolutely be the worst thing to happen, next to Jake never coming back at all. She doesn't want him to be different, but is terrified he will be. So different he won't want her romantically anymore, just after she realized _she_ wants _him_ romantically.

Amy's sobbing so hard she doesn't notice who's handing her tissues. Eventually she stops crying by convincing herself that broken-hearted people move on with their lives every day - but that's unnecessary because Jake could never stop loving her. It's unthinkable. On the third round of breathing deep and chanting, Amy realizes just which office she locked herself into.

"Detective Santiago," Captain Holt begins, low and steady. "Are you alright?"

Too exhausted to come up with enough suitable lies, the first words out of her mouth are, "How's Jake?" Holt raises his eyebrows at her, but she keeps going. "I just need to know that he's okay - aren't you getting regular reports that he's alive and on schedule? _Aren't you?_ "

Amy feels there must be something about her tear-stained, floor sitting desperation working in her favor, because Holt tells her that he's safe, and everything is on track to get him back on time. He also takes a moment to reassure her that he's completely fine - a comment she half-heartedly shrugs off.

Captain Holt also doesn't make her leave until she's ready - with dried tears, a makeup fix and much more deep breathing. She immediately makes her way to Charles and Rosa to apologize and mention that she'd be willing to help with anything for a party. They both forgive her before entrusting her with nothing. "We'll just go to the bar," Rosa shrugs while Charles nods behind her.

* * *

 

The next month really drags on, assisted by Amy checking almost every day for updates on Jake. It turns out the RICO bust is the makings of an FBI undercover legend. Amy tries to focus on that instead of him being gone for six months.

For Jake's part, he readily admits to Amy that there are some jokes he'll probably never make again (and some he'll make constantly), but that there is no force that could ever make him stop caring about her.

Amy hears 'love;’ they both know how deep they're already in this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being a relationship with Jake is actually really easy. Sometimes Amy thinks it's _way_ too easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you all wish I had posted this like two weeks ago. Chaptered, unfinished fics, am I right? Well, don't be too sad, because if I had posted this immediately after chapter one it wouldn't be a half as good. 
> 
> I must give out lots of love and inspiration-feels to the 8-tracks Jake/Amy playlist "Something Good Can Work" and also THE B99 podcast: Back In The Field.
> 
> (This chapter is un-beta-ed at time of posting. Errors are my own.)

Being in a relationship with Jake is actually really easy. Sometimes Amy thinks it's _way_ too easy. They fall headfirst into the honeymoon, everything is perfect stage, and Amy isn't sure if they're past that stage yet or not. It feels like they're into the ordinary everyday part of a relationship. But there was never really the ugly transitional phase where you learn all of their flaws and either hate them and break-up, or work through it, either fixing or tolerating them.

Amy had been really afraid of that part, because she's only made past that part with one other person. She didn't think she could bear it if she or Jake decided they couldn't stand each other's shortcomings. She still feels like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Jake to decide she's too much of an old lady to love unconditionally.

Instead, last night when she changed into her matching, polka-dot flannel pajamas, Jake couldn't stop smiling, and adamantly objected to her changing into one of his old t-shirts. Just like she simply shakes her head smiling when he brings home (to her apartment - he brings _to her apartment_ ) a gigantic bag of mixed candy for the week. She ends up hiding a good portion of it so it lasts for closer to a month, but she doesn't object when he brings it home ( _over_ , when he brings it _over_.)

When Amy thinks about it, their recurring argument was always about how, after about a month, Amy refused to stay the night in Jake's apartment. They would hang out, eat, and watch movies, but in the end she'd always say, "Okay, back to my place," with a yawn. The first time she got up off the couch to leave, Jake got up with her to protest - his bed is super comfy, they can walk to work, they're already _here_. In the end, Jake stayed out of protest and Amy slept alone in her bed, and even with one of Jake's shirts as her pajamas and another as her pillowcase, the night went poorly.

They don't acknowledge it, but Amy suspects it didn't go well for him either. After that Jake still protests, but goes with her back to her apartment; until he stops protesting, and then they stop going to Jake's apartment altogether.

So when Amy thinks about it (which, she doesn't), she and Jake managed to skip not just the fighting stage, but most of the normal dating portion of their relationship, and are basically living together. He doesn't have any of his furniture or decorations in her apartment, but he does have two and a half drawers full of clothes, soap in the shower, food in the fridge, and even a shelf of his favorite DVDs in her living room.

Thinking about it she gets a warm, heavy pressure in her chest - until she realizes she's at work, smiling like an idiot, and Rosa keeps smirking at her. Just like Charles smirks every time Jake and Amy walk into work at the same time, and Gina acts surprised, asking, "You have clean clothing?"

Jake usually ignores them all because he's used to coming in late as a target for ridicule, but Amy's cheeks burn and she avoids eye contact until they're all working again. What's worse than that is when Amy is actually right on schedule, getting into the precinct early while Jake sleeps in, only to come in twenty minutes after her and drop something at her desk she forgot at home. Nine times out of ten it's her keys, and she never worries about that because it means Jake can lock the door behind him. He also sets them on her desk inconspicuously, with a good morning kiss.

Three times it's a lunch she packed for herself that he brings in grandly, each time announcing, "Your meal, m'lady," with a smirk. Charles comments on how sweet it is for Jake to bring her lunch, but Amy tries not to see Rosa's eyebrows go up. Amy's not proud to say that she's also managed to forget a huge pile of paperwork, her laptop, her holiday cards to pass out, and a few times her phone - left charging on the nightstand. Jake brings each in twenty-five minutes or an hour after she's settled into her work, raising some of their colleagues' eyebrows, and scrunches some of their noses while Jake sighs, exasperated, at Amy's desk.

Amy just mutters 'thanks' and tries to get immediately back to work, ignoring everything going on around her for at least ten minutes. She's ashamed she forgot such important things, and keeps an eye out for Holt to make sure he doesn't see how irresponsible she can be. Unfortunately, Terry's definitely noticed a few times, and the sinking feeling in her gut intensifies.

The only thing that really comes of Jake showing up at work with her stuff is just more teasing about their relationship from the squad. Their teasing is actually really boring - no one calls them an old married couple or insinuates anything about them being super serious about each other.

 Amy's disappointed by that, because she'd prefer her colleagues bring it up. Then she wouldn't have to think about it nonstop, because Jake is silent, but his actions are screaming. In the end, Amy tells herself to shut up about it; she's happy and things are going well. They're in a rhythm of mutual respect and high regard for each other, even if on the surface they insult each other constantly.

Amy's alarm clock is beeping loudly, and Jake's hand reaches it before she can free her head from the covers. "Gaaaaah, turn that _off_." Jake mumbles into her hair.

She hums in reply, slowly sitting up and easing her way out of bed. Amy stands and switches her alarm off, starting towards the kitchen to start the coffee, but Jake lightly grabs her arm.

"Come back to bed," he says, flipping back the covers for her to climb in next to him. She turns around to look blearily at him, and he smiles softly, extending his other hand. "It's warm and I'm here, and, " he yawns widely, "you get up way too early anyway."

Amy tilts her head for a second, considering if she should be mad or just ignore him, but she's tired, and he's adorably earnest and comfortable, so she slides back into bed. Jake's right, their bed is warm, and as he wraps his arms around her, she settles against his chest, knowing there is no more comfortable place in the world. They both drift back to sleep, and Amy smiles inwardly that Jake has become such a bad influence on her.

When Amy wakes up, it's to Jake moving out from under her, mumbling, "Shit, shit, shit."

"Hmm?" She sits up, rubbing her eyes as Jake falls out of bed.

"If we walked into the precinct right now, we'd only be an _hour_ late." Jake is rummaging through the closet as what's happening sinks in for Amy. She looks at the clock and immediately bolts out of bed. "Why didn't your alarm go off?" Jake is jumping into his pants as Amy grabs some underwear out of her dresser.

"My alarm clock did go off - why didn't _yours_?"

He stops halfway through pulling his shirt on and stares at her. "My alarm _is_ your alarm - I always get up on the third snooze. I didn't set a separate one."

" _What?_ " she drops the pair of pants she's holding up to her nose. "I turned my alarm off when I got up! You wanted me to get back in bed! I - " she stops and picks up her pants, "we don't have time for this."

Jake bolts out of the room, yelling, "Do we have time for coffee?"

"No!"

"Damnit!"

* * *

 

Jake makes sure they double-check that they have everything before they run out of the apartment ("You're rushing and that's how you forget stuff!"). They don't stop for breath until they both barrel into the precinct, Amy in the lead with Jake following warily.

Their entrance coincides with the entire squad filing out of the morning briefing, so Amy is forced to meet everyone's eye as she drops her bag at her desk - Jake doing the same.

Captain Holt walks out and stops in front of their desks, saying, "Nice of you to join us - Detective Santiago - Detective Peralta."

Jake starts, "Sir -"

Amy cuts him off. "I'm sorry! We're almost two hours late and it's my fault!" She half-shouts, the entire bullpen's attention is on her anyway - they should be able to hear her.

"Amy, no it's -" Jake tries again.

"Everybody knows we're in a relationship - " she points her finger accusingly around the room. "And you can stop speculating about us because _yes!_ We're basically living together! You should find another renter, Gina - Jake's not there anymore. He's living with me!" She throws up her hands and addresses the Captain directly. "We're living together and we can't even figure out setting an alarm." Looking at Holt, she comes back to herself and adds in a much quieter tone, "That's why we were late. Sir." She backs up to her desk and desperately wants to sink down into her chair but resists; she has to stand in front of Holt, accepting the consequences of her outburst.

The Captain's expression is more unreadable than usual, but then Jake speaks. "Sir, it was my fault, don't take it out on Santiago, she -" he pauses when she turns towards him, ready to reiterate that it was _her_ fault, not his, but then his face breaks out into a massive grin. Holt raises his eyebrows and Amy just shrugs in response; then Jake starts laughing so hard he's wiping tears from his eyes.

"You're - you're" he manages to say, pointing haphazardly at Amy, and then gesturing his hands over the front of his torso. After one more burst of laughter he can look at Amy long enough to say, "You're wearing my shirt," before bursting into a fit of giggles.

She looks down at herself, and sure enough, underneath her blazer she's wearing a too-big blue and white plaid button-up and she knows he's right. Gingerly she picks at the fabric in confirmation, sighing. "Yeah."

Looking back to Captain Holt, he nods solemnly at them both. "Get to work."

"Yes, sir." Amy sits down, the bullpen livening back up as Jake's giggles fade out. Amy avoids eye contact with everyone for at least two hours, but every time she looks up, Jake is smiling earnestly, and her annoyance wanes. He's just plain happy; amused, not at her expense, but at the situation.

By the end of the day she's smiling quietly to herself for no other reason than that Jake is a _terrible_ influence on her, and she's never been happier about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of cuteness and domesticity in this chapter to make up for the angst in chapter one! The rest of the fic should be more in line with this chapter - Jake getting on Amy's nerves, and her inability to deal like a normal person. (I'm really excited to write the next chapter. BE EXCITED WITH ME.)
> 
> Okay, but really - "Something Good Can Work" is the perfect Jake/Amy playlist.
> 
> Also, if you care at all about B99 meta - listen to Back In the Field. Truly a wonderful podcast. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Detective Santiago - I trust I don't need to impress upon you how wrong it is to attack a co-worker when he upsets you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't forgotten about this fic! Promise. Also - I am a complete and utter SAP. I hope you are too. 
> 
> Many thanks and much love to my beta ashisfriendly, without whom there would be many typos and inconsistencies.
> 
> Please enjoy!

"Peralta, Santiago, can you work this murder together, no distractions?" Captain Holt addresses them in the morning briefing.

"Why do you ask that every time?" Jake protests, throwing up his hands and glaring in Holt and Terry's direction.

Amy rolls her eyes before answering, "Yes, of course we can work together professionally."

"Good." Terry chips in, Holt and Jake still glaring at each other. "This is a big case; we need it solved ASAP."

"Not a problem, " Amy smiles at Terry while placing a placating hand on Jake's arm. "We'll head out right away."

Jake opens his mouth to say something and then shuts it as Holt intones, "Good. Dismissed!"

"I'll go get my bag," Jake mumbles towards Amy without looking at her. Amy just rolls her eyes and organizes her notes back into her notebook.

"Santiago." She looks up to see Rosa in front of her, leaning down conspiratorially. "Be honest - are things really okay between you two? I can switch with you - he looks like he's gonna snap any second."

"I'm not lying, Rosa. Things are great - they're actually," she smiles wide and tries to look at Rosa, and then the clasp on her case won't close and she examines it. "They're better than great - it's - he's," Amy can't think of the words, and even if she could they wouldn't come out because of the tears forming in her eyes. She stands up, "We're great," her voice catches so she clears her throat and wipes cleanly under her eyes. She tries again, voice even, "We're good. I promise."

Amy smiles at Rosa's dubious expression, but she walks away regardless. If she could get all the words out - she would tell Rosa - but telling your work friend that you're crazy in love doesn't come up casually in conversation. Right now, the honesty of Jake telling Amy that he's serious and in it for the long haul still makes her cheeks flush. In the sacred space of a 3 AM conversation, Jake told her that marriage and as many kids as they can handle were the only future he could see, and she agreed. He talked in almost creepy detail about how big she'll get when she's pregnant, but that he's going to wait on her hand and foot the whole time. They had teasingly went back and forth about the logistics of that, but eventually Jake solemnly promised to be the best birth partner in the world for her.

Amy kind of wants to shout about the certainty of her relationship from several Brooklyn rooftops, but keeping it to herself makes her giddy - even if it means disbelieving looks from colleagues. Sure, she could tell everyone about she and Jake operating smoothly as a mature adult couple, or they could see it firsthand. Amy could tell Rosa about how she's expecting Jake to propose any day now (they've talked about it and while she doesn't want anything as big as a flash mob, she does want surprise), or she could just wait and brandish her engagement ring in her face.

Buoyed by Rosa's disbelief in her happiness, Amy meets Jake in the bullpen by their desks. "Ready to go?"

"Almost." Jake grabs his bag and turns to her seriously. "Before we go, there's something very important I have to ask you." As if in slow motion, he gets down on one knee and the breath catches in her throat - too excited to breathe. "Can I tie my shoe first?"

Amy's mouth is open, but no sound comes out, watches Jake crack a grin up at her, his eyes dancing.

"Thanks, let's go catch a murderer!"

He's already halfway to the elevator before she articulates, "I hate you."

Jake just grins at her the entire ride to the crime scene.

* * *

 

Interviewing people at the scene gets them fewer leads than Amy's happy with, but she and Jake are in sync today and have ideas on where to investigate further. Amy's making a few phone calls and has already answered Holt's impatient questions twice - while Jake's been searching through records for over an hour. She looks at the clock mournfully - there's no way they'll get the substantial lead she wants before they head home for the day.

They're not even going to come close without Jake finding something in the mountain of files he's sifting through in the records room. She doesn't even know what he's looking for, but trusts him when he says he has a hunch. No one else does, apparently, because the longer he's been in there the more raised eyebrows she's encountered - from Holt, from Rosa, and most upsetting - one from Charles the last time he passed Jake's empty desk. Amy's taking notes on what they know so far - to focus her brain - when she hears Jake whooping from behind the record room's closed door.

Jake doesn't re-emerge from the room for a few minutes, but when he does he's beaming. He sits in the chair next to her desk nonchalantly waiting for her to look at him. She finishes the list she was writing down, calmly dotting her last question mark and turns her full attention to him.

Without a word, Jake slides onto the floor on one knee, smile on his face and hands behind his back. "Amy Santiago - this may be the most important day of our lives, and this may be the most important question I ever ask." Jake pauses dramatically as Amy's reeling in confusion - her heart racing and she can't really remember how to breathe, excitement paralyzing her.

Jake takes a deep breath and pulls a stack of files from behind his back, presenting it to her. "Did you want to look over these files I just found?" His tone is so serious and he's smiling so big it's not until he puts the files into her hands that it really registers for Amy.

"Sure," she hears herself say, nodding. "Of course." He starts to stand up when she takes the files and hits him over the head with them. "You complete asshole!" Jake's laughing even as the files hit him, and she stands up to whack him harder. "It's not funny!" She keeps hitting him, but he keeps on laughing, and Amy doesn't realize she's yelling at him until Terry's lifting her bodily to get her out of reach of Jake. "- you asshole!" she hears herself yell.

"Calm _down_ , Santiago!" Terry says into her ear, and she stops struggling.

Before Terry can even set her down, Holt's out of his office arms crossed, standing in front of them - and Jake is _still smiling_. The Captain takes a moment to look disappointed in her direction before turning to Jake. "Detective Peralta, are you okay?"

"I'm great." Jake is positively _beaming_ \- which only pisses Amy off more.

"Should I get the forms for you to fill out to file for physical harassment?"

"Nope." He pops the 'p,' practically bouncing up and down - bouncing _and_ beaming. "It was my fault." Amy scowls.

Holt turns back to Amy now, still held tight in Terry's arms. "Detective Santiago - I trust I don't need to impress upon you how wrong it is to attack a co-worker when he upsets you." Amy nods solemnly, her eyes downcast. "Will you be able to continue working on the Branston case together?"

"Yes, sir," Amy enunciates clearly, firmly. Holt nods and walks back to his office, leaving Amy to notice the circle of people surrounding them, staring. "Terry, put me down." Her voice has shrunk; she's not even sure he can hear her.

Then she hears him ask Jake, "You ready?"

He rolls his eyes as Terry sets her down. "You say that like I can't take her!"

Gina chimes in, "She was literally just clobbering you."

"I wasn't trying to defend myself!"

Gina nods her head, conceding, but Rosa says, "That doesn't mean she can't take you."

Everyone smiles at that and follows Amy's lead, walking back to their desks. Jake's still smiling far too widely for Amy's liking, so she calls out to Rosa as she passes them, "Rosa - smack that grin off his face, will you?" She obliges, jabbing Jake in the arm. He yelps in pain and it makes Amy feel a tiny bit better.

Amy picks up the papers that got a little scattered in the attack and sits down to see Jake still smiling. "You're incorrigible," she tells him, and he nods. The only other things she says to him all day are case related.

* * *

 

It's a little over a week later when Jake finally does propose. He doesn't take her out to dinner, or for a romantic walk, or make her revisit all of their relationship landmark spots. Jake cooks dinner instead of ordering in and doesn't try to teach her anything in the kitchen. The night is quiet - they cuddle on the couch watching re-runs and he doesn't object to heading to bed early because Amy is exhausted. Amy notices him staring at her more than usual as they get ready for bed and she chalks it up to her wearing his t-shirt.

When all of the lights are off, Amy's snuggling down into her pillow and Jake stares at her, brushing her hair back from her face. "I love you, Amy Santiago." She mumbles back a 'love you too,' but Jake keeps talking. He tells her how she's changed his life and that he never wants to live without her. Jake whispers that he didn't know he could be this happy, that he could look forward to the future this much.

Amy's crying silent tears that slide down to her pillow at the same rate Jake's tears do. She nods her head a little absently - the 'yes, I agree, me too!' stuck in her throat.

So quietly she's practically reading his lips, Jake whispers into the tiny void between them. "Will you marry me?"

Amy nods and whisper replies, "Yes!" before kissing him. She can feel him breathe out in relief and she grins into kissing him again. And again. And again. She kisses him until he has his full confidence back;  kisses him until they're wrapped around each other, breathlessly smiling, and drift off to sleep in time to each other's heartbeats.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if Jake's behavior reminded you of Jim Halpert, congratulations! We are on the same wavelength of inspiration. There is a huge divergence there, like the fact that they're faking out their future wives for totally different reasons, but that they DO and that they ENJOY it, well, that should be enough.
> 
> PLEASE leave me notes/comments/kudos if you like - the next chapter I am afraid will be [retracted] and different, so who knows how long it'll take me. (Note: not before B99 comes back on the FOURTH.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What makes you think you're good enough for our sister?"
> 
> "How can you marry a girl if you don't know her family?"
> 
> Alternately: Amy's brothers are asshats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was more fun than anticipated! I came up with pretty generic names for the brothers of Amy I did feature, and I didn't want to make them too Latin, but also not like normal dude-bro. So I tried to toe the line - because that's literally what Amy is, as a name. Except Tyler is totally a shout-out to how I (and some other unknown username people) really want Tyler Posey to come and play a younger brother for Amy. :)
> 
> Also - even the best brothers - older or younger - have immense potential to be complete asshats. I took liberties, but not that many. I have a brother I love, and he's still an asshole like 45% of the time. Even to his wife and kids.
> 
> All praise and thanksgivings and BLESS for my lovely beta ashisfriendly. *blows kisses*
> 
> Enjoy!

Telling the world around them they're engaged takes a really long time. Not that she or Jake really mind - she loves showing off her ring and talking about the wedding, and Jake loves the word 'fiancé' and uses it constantly. "My _fiancé_ cracked that case in record time," Amy's heard him say. "You know who blasted this case wide open? My fiancé." It's fun when it's just them and the squad, but it gets awkward when any of the higher ups come around.

What bothers Amy is that they've already reserved a venue and booked a caterer by the time all of her brothers know. She tried to get them to all come over to their parents' house when she told _them_ , but only her little brother Tyler showed up - everyone else making excuses about their families or their jobs or even just being too tired. She chews them out about it on the phone, but they just complain about how busy she always claims her schedule is, and how they never see _her_.

Eventually she just gives up, trusting her Mom and her brothers that do know to tell everybody. The problem with that is that no one believes it. Rick, Steve, and Josh all spend most of her niece Christine's fourth birthday party teasing her about it. "Nice ring from your _imaginary_ fiancé, Ames." Josh says, grabbing her hand.

"The real one is getting resized right now, idiot, I told you." She grabs her hand back defensively.

"So you just _had_ to wear this plastic one?" Rick scoffs. "Whenever Jennie gets hers cleaned she manages to go without for a day."

Amy rolls her eyes. "It's an inside joke sentimental ring - I tried to tell you the story and you all just ignored me and walked away."

Josh interjects, "Fictional story about a fictional - "

Steve cuts them off, "He just doesn't seem like the most caring guy if he's just blowing off Christine's party like this."

Amy has to stop herself from stomping her foot. "Jake isn't blowing off anything! He's working two doubles this weekend. Which I _already told you_."

It's a pretty sucky party in the end, because even after they let up a bit after cake and ice cream, it moves from disbelief to distrust. Just being happy for her is a very long way away for her brothers.

Amy relays all of her brothers' snotty behavior to Jake when he's half asleep and then the next day when he's listening. He mumbles his support, and then reassures her in no uncertain terms that in the end they will love him. "And they'll have to believe I'm really marrying you when they come to the wedding, right?"

She rolls her eyes, smiling. "Yeah, but when they get the invitation they'll think that's fake, too."

Jake smiles softly at her, bringing her into an embrace. "Do you want to ambush them? Attack them with 'us?'"

"Nah." She's perfectly happy to forget about her asshole brothers until the next family dinner.

* * *

 

Amy is so busy, focused on her case that everything else in the precinct is a blur to her. It's possible it was Jake who pushed coffee into her hands, but it might have been Rosa or Charles or Gina or even Terry. It's the big case of the moment, and instead of searching for evidence, she's overwhelmed by the sheer amount of it. Different officers keep handing her files of witness testimony, and baggies of evidence keep piling up on her desk.

Rosa and Charles are both working as secondary with her, but she's trusting them to do their own thing. She's not even sure if what she's written down on their communicating pad is still worth doing anymore. It's a mess, and she wouldn't have remembered to eat if Jake hadn't forced a sandwich into her hands - and fielded all of the wedding detail calls she's been getting all day. Because of _course_ today is when all of the vendors and event coordinators get back to her. Of _course_. So the Wedding Planning Binder has moved over to Jake's desk for the day.

"Hey Ames," Amy hears from behind her and she doesn't respond. If something was really important Jake would place it in her hands or he'd put his face two inches in front of hers so she'd know he's telling her something.

She heads to the records room to ask Charles something, and it's like her name is echoing behind her, a teasing song in the air. It turns out Charles had been looking in the right places and he's got a solid lead, so she's looking up and glancing around looking for Rosa in the bullpen when she sees five guys surrounding Jake at his desk.

"Are you good at your job?" one asks, leaning in threateningly.

"Yeah, aren't you in debt up to your eyeballs?"

"Well he's nothing to look at," the tallest one - _Steve!_ \- says to the guy next to him - _Rick!_

"What makes you think you're good enough for our sister?"

Amy's close enough to see Jake between the wall of her brothers, and to his credit he keeps trying to answer them. He's gesticulating and turning to each of her brothers, opening his mouth to talk and they keep cutting him off.

"How can you marry a girl if you don't know her family?"

The words are barely out of Josh's mouth when Amy pulls her brother down by his ear so forcefully he yelps in pain. "My _family_ would know him if they cared enough to meet us when we asked!" Everyone else in the circle stops and looks at Amy. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"Had to make sure he was real, sis." Rick smirks at her, poking Jake in the chest. She sees Jake recoil uncomfortably, and can feel all of her brothers moving closer to harass him, and she reacts without thinking.

Amy shoves Josh to the floor and then hits Rick hard on his bruised collarbone (Jennie won't stop talking about it on Facebook), attacks Steve's bad knee, punches Aaron in the throat, and actually jumps on  Luis's back to take him down (his back isn't 'bad' - but it isn't that good, either). Each of her brothers go down with a different painful yelp, but when she slides off Luis's back, they're all glaring at her with the exact same face.

The bullpen surrounding all of them are all making the same face, too. Mouths open and eyes wide, staring at the now singular figures of Jake and Amy. She doesn't notice.

"Leave Jake alone! He's here, he's real, we're getting married, get over it!" She spins slowly in a circle, making eye contact with all five brothers, who stay safely on the floor. "If you want to meet him or see that he's real or how much we're meant for each other - come to dinner like a civilized person!" Her voice has risen to a shout and she can actually hear herself echo. Back at a normal volume she adds, "Or, you can come to our wedding and see then - but you'll have to RSVP."

Amy turns to Jake suddenly, her brow crinkled. "Did we only send out save the dates or are invites out too?"

Jake startles in the direction of the wedding binder and flips to an already well-worn checklist. "Not all of the invites are out, but we definitely got round one mailed."

Amy smiles, remembering how much Jake complained about a tongue paper-cut from licking shut the last of their first round invitations. "RSVP or butt out - " she steps over Steve, still clutching his leg. "We're working here."

Walking toward Rosa and Charles, Amy finally sees the whole bullpen staring at her and her brothers crouched on the floor. Even Holt is watching, his mouth agape.

"C'mon, we've got work to do!" She tries not to smile with Rosa and Charles in her wake, but without looking she knows that Jake _is_ smirking after her, helping her brothers up off the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Amy *is* totally a badass. I know. ^.^ 
> 
> If you haven't, please take note of all the various take-downs of criminals we see her do in the show. She's capable. She knows her brothers' weaknesses. Easy peasy. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think! Or just tell me how EXCITED you are for the next chapter!!!!!!! (Trust me, it's probably going to be my favorite to write. Or harrowing/frustrating because it's my favorite and I care a tad too much. We'll see.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Holt looks over to Jake, face scrunched up and blotchy, staring at Amy. He glances back to Amy and intones, "Your personal fights stay at home."
> 
> "We're not fighting," Jake says immediately, scowling at Holt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to the wonderful, beautiful, inspirational, light of my life - ashisfriendly. She very kindly beta-ed and is constantly telling me how wonderful I am. It's all very helpful. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

The precinct remains unchanged when they're married. Everyone gets in at the same time each morning and the cases get assigned in almost exactly the same way. So it's weird when Amy bursts into the precinct an hour earlier than usual, when only Captain Holt and the overnight stragglers are in the bullpen. She walks up to Holt first without even stopping at her desk.

"Sir, any new cases for me to jump on?" Amy's tucking her shirt in and her cheeks are flushed, hair in a sloppy ponytail.

Before Captain Holt even opens his mouth Jake bursts through the elevator doors yelling, "Amy!" He's carrying his own messenger bag in addition to Amy's bulging computer bag and both of their jackets and coats. "Amy will you not - I'm trying to talk to you - " He stops in front of Amy and Holt, breathing heavily and drops everything at their feet. "Amy, I'm trying to _talk_ to you."

Amy ignores him, looking to Holt, asking calmly, "So are there any new cases?"

Captain Holt looks over to Jake, face scrunched up and blotchy, staring at Amy. He glances back to Amy and intones, "Your personal fights stay at home."

"We're not fighting," Jake says immediately, scowling at Holt.

"Regardless, this is a police precinct, and I expect you to act like it." He starts to walk back to his office and then turns back, Jake and Amy both staring after him. "I don't have any new cases to assign you."

Amy's face falls, and she goes to her desk, still ignoring her husband. Jake rolls his eyes and methodically picks up their stuff from the floor, placing their coats on their chairs, handing Santiago her jacket, putting his own on and placing their bags on their desks.

She doesn't look at him even as she accepts her jacket from him and starts to unpack her bag the second he sets it in front of her. When he sits down across from her at his own desk she can see peripherally the energy Jake had bursting into the bullpen after her has ebbed. He's pulling out his files when she turns to her computer, opening files, trying to ignore his sighing.

"You know what?" Jake says into the charged air between them, "I'm going to go get breakfast, you want anything?" He glances at her - just one police detective offering another food, knowing neither of them have eaten. Amy meets his gaze and he nods, grabbing his coat and heading out.

Amy lets him leave and shakes her head to put the morning behind her. She focuses on filling out the paperwork on her computer, but after five minutes when Boyle and Gina walk in not-together, she realizes she's  just been staring at the blinking cursor, Jake's words echoing in her head.

"Remember when we had sex at that club, and also my car and also here?" Jake had asked, buttoning up his shirt without looking at her. "Remember how weird and awesome it was without a condom... as married people?" She thought he was just trying to get her to have a quickie before work - especially when he mentioned how much sex they've been having the last month. Then when Jake flat out told her when her last period was, Amy felt like she'd stepped into a strange, hazy dream where facts were loose and movable.

Amy feels like she's floating through a haze watching Rosa tell off Hitchcock and Scully for spilling their coffee on the documents she just printed. She just can't believe it.

' _I can't be pregnant_ ,' Amy thinks, ' _If I was pregnant, I would know._ '

Everyone's assembling for the morning briefing when Jake walks towards her, balancing three bags of food and five coffees in his hands. Amy rises and takes the cup he's holding out to her before turning and walking in the opposite direction. She hears him call out, "Charles, Rosa, Terry - I got you coffee!" as she settles into her seat at the front of the briefing room. Everyone files in around her, and Jakes comes in, carrying one of the bakery bags and sets it in front of her before sitting at the table behind her.

She takes notes absently through Rosa's drug rundown, and she takes out the giant muffin Jake got her, taking a few bites before Charles starts filling them in on his murder investigation. Amy takes a sip of her coffee and stops.

She rounds on Jake angrily, "Did you get me decaf?!"

Jake's eyes go wide and his fingers clench around the cup he's holding. He doesn't say anything, which Amy takes as a 'yes.'

"Damn it, Jake! I told you, I'm not - I know my own body, and my body needs caffeine!"

"I know you know your own body, I was mentioning things _around_ your body or stuff _affected_ by your body - " he shoots back.

"My boobs are my body, Jake!"

"Whoa!" Jake puts a finger up in defense. "That was one thing - the other evidence - it all - at least five of those involved my body."

Amy rolls her eyes. "Those don't count! You said so yourself!"

Jake's shaking his head. "And stuff _around_ your body! And it's just - I wanted to talk to you about it! 'Adults in relationships communicate,' remember?"

She doesn't have the energy to yell at him for throwing her words in her face. "You got me decaf coffee!" She pushes the cup at him across the table. "You made up your mind already! There is no talking to you!"

A muscle twitches in Jake's clenched jaw as he stares back at Amy. "Fine!" he says, throwing his hands in the air. "I do think I'm right - but you won't even listen to the possibility that maybe - "

"I'm not!!"

"Fine, then prove it." Jake fishes a small paper bag out of his coat pocket and throws it at her. "Prove me wrong."

Amy opens the bag and peeks inside. She's glaring at Jake when she looks up, and they hold each other's gaze for several seconds of silence. Then she's standing up and exiting, glaring at him the whole time.

"What the hell, Jake?" Rosa hits him hard on the arm. "You're commenting on your wife's body?"

"What?" Jake looks around, confused.

"Worst husband ever," Charles says sadly.

"I wasn't commenting on her body!" Jake tells Rosa, and the rest of the room, which he's just noticed are all staring at him. "I was just -" he covers his face with his hands and scrubs vigorously for a few seconds, inhaling a deep breath through his nose. "Oh God," he moans into his hands, "I'm so right, and she's gonna _kill_ me."

"I'm starting to think that might not be a bad thing." Holt says, then gestures to Charles. "Please, Detective Boyle, continue."

Charles watches Jake as he walks back to the podium and starts to gesture to the whiteboard behind him. Jake doesn't take his face out of his hands, and Charles talks to everyone. He finishes with, "We'll catch this bastard," as Amy walks back into the room.

She places the paper bag and her phone face-up in front of Jake. Amy sits down where she was at, not looking at Jake - not looking at anyone, her eyes shiny with tears.

"Sergeant Jeffers - de-brief us on the group of bank robbers."

"Yes, sir." Terry positions himself behind the podium just as the timer on Amy's phone rings out into the silence.

Amy turns as Jake uncovers his face. He reaches to open the bag, Amy hovering above him to see into the bag, both of their faces tight and apprehensive, both of their eyes wet. The whole room watches them peek into the tiny paper sack - Amy takes in a long breath and Jake covers the bottom half of his face with one hand, stifling his emotions.

Captain Holt rolls his eyes and moves towards their table, reaching a hand out to grab the paper bag from Jake's hands, but his hand never makes it. Amy grabs some files off the table and starts hitting Jake over the head with them. "God -damn it- Jake!" She yells, punctuating each word with a smack over the head.

Jake's arms fly up to protect his head and he's yelling back, "I know! I know!  I'm sorry!" Amy stops hitting him for long enough to make an offended noise in the back of her throat, then she starts hitting him over the head harder. "I'm not sorry! I'm not sorry at all!"

"Everyone back to work!" Holt says over the noise of Amy hitting Jake and her yelling not-words at him, and Jake's continual shouts of "I'm not sorry!"

Charles steps in as unobtrusively as possible, saying, "These are - they're actually my files." He takes them out of Amy's hands, slipping away slowly.

Jake looks up then and sees the tears running down Amy's face and jumps up immediately, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. She buries her face into his neck as the briefing room empties out around them, and Jake squeezes her tight to him.

He's smoothing down her hair in steady strokes when she finally pulls back and looks at him. Jake wipes the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs. "I know you're angry, but are we okay? Are you happy?"

A small smile breaks out on Amy's face. "Are _you_ happy?"

Jake's grin takes over his face. "Totally."

Amy's smile widens, and the excitement in her eyes matches that in her husband's. "Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been my head-canon for quite a while now that Jake would figure out Amy is pregnant before she does. Turns out it's totally plausible because Jake figured out Terry's wife is pregnant a few episodes ago. Like, Jake will definitely pay attention to when her periods are and the last time they had sex and which time(s) were possibly more conducive to baby-making, also he'd pick up on weird things with her body. Like he normally pokes her boobs light-heartedly, and then she doesn't let him do that, or other random things that pregnant bodies do, and he would put all of those pieces together because he is a detective.
> 
> Next is the chapter where Amy *doesn't* freak out! It's gonna be great, I think. :) I hope you enjoyed!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You keep doing that close your eyes and breathing thing - which means you're having contractions. Contractions mean labor, boo."
> 
> Amy scoffs, "Contractions are not that big of a deal. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank Brooklyn Nine-Nine for existing and being so wonderful and bringing us these complete dork characters who we are all deeply in love with and want to see happy. I am not ashamed to say that deep in my heart I want this chapter of my fic to literally play out in an episode down the line.
> 
> MUCH LOVE, AS ALWAYS, goes my beta ashisfriendly. She keeps me sane. *blows kisses*

Amy is officially on maternity leave. Her due date is in three days, she groans every time she moves, her ankles, breasts, and face are swollen, and she waddles when she walks. She's been complaining about how horrendous the precinct smells since before she was showing, and even when she had her perp dead to rights, half the time they wouldn't take her seriously in interrogation. A still-pregnant Amy is totally and completely done with being at work.

Still, this morning she waddles into the precinct after Jake and eases herself down onto the chair next to his desk. Amy's conspicuous in her long flowery sundress, so the whole room turns to watch her walk in, and half the squad is on her when she sits down.

"Detective Santiago," Holt starts quietly, "you are on maternity leave. You are not supposed to be here."

Amy's still adjusting in her chair and doesn't look up. "I'm not here, I'm with Jake." She motions half-heartedly to Jake next to her, sitting at his desk, focused on his computer and the files in front of him.

"Wouldn't you rather be at home, though?" Terry asks. "Sharon didn't even want to get out of her pajamas, let alone leave the house."

She looks at him, her eyebrows raised. "It's not like I'm more comfortable at home. I'm uncomfortable _everywhere_. I'm with Jake in case something happens." She glances over to her husband again who's on the phone now, taking notes while he's talking.

"But why's Jake even here?" Charles starts to whine, half to her and half aimed at Jake so maybe he'll hear. "I told him I'd handle the cases we didn't close yet."

Amy closes her eyes against the wall of people boxing her in; she's feeling uncomfortable. "He said he had a brainwave."

"Brainwave?" Rosa's voice is behind her.

"Stroke of genius. Same thing." She opens her eyes to everyone standing, arms-crossed, suspicion and disbelief on their faces, in front of her. "Come in, catch the guy, and we leave. In and out." Jake's on the phone again as she glances around. "Shouldn't you all be working? _He_ is." She makes a shooing motion with her hands and they reluctantly back away.

"Captain, phone." Gina's voice rings out as the circle breaks up, and Holt disappears into his office, his jaw set in a disgruntled expression.

"Amy, what are you doing here? You're an absolute whale." Gina half-shouts across to her. Amy rolls her eyes while giving Gina the finger, as if Gina hadn't brought over dinner last night and then spent an hour obsessively organizing toys in the baby room.

"Santiago, you idiot." Rosa's still standing behind her, arms crossed.

"What the hell, Rosa?" Amy tries to hit her on the arm without moving. She doesn't react to the swipes.

"Amy, you let him drag you into work - you're gonna pop any second now!"

She rolls her eyes, watching as her husband goes over to Charles's desk with his files. "I'm super pregnant? Wow, I had no idea!"

"I'm _serious_. You need to be home."

Jake and Charles leave hurriedly, and Amy watches them go. "No, I need to be with Jake. I don't need to be home if I go into labor - I need to be with Jake."

"He just left!" Rosa's voice rises, and she's gesturing over to the doorway.

"And now I'm here with you, instead of alone at home."

"Jake shouldn't have come to work at all." She's trying not to shout, her arms firmly crossed, a frown on her face.

"This is a big case for Jake - and I'm not going to make him wait three months for us to come back from leave or have Charles get the guy when we're gone. I'm not gonna do that."

Amy breathes in deeply, her eyes closed, holds her breath for a few seconds and then exhales slowly. Rosa's looking at her with eyebrows raised, the rest of her body slack, fight stance completely abandoned. "Are you in labor _right now_?"

"Besides - it's boring at home." Amy continues nonchalantly. "Now tell me about your case - maybe I can help."

Rosa just stands there, staring at her until Amy starts standing up. Then she ends up helping her waddle over to her desk, telling her about the murder she's solving.

* * *

 

Amy spends the next two hours spinning around in Rosa's chair, chiming in with helpful thoughts and helping Gina bully Scully and Hitchcock out of eating the strong smelling food they brought. Jake has called twice, letting Rosa know they keep missing their guy, but they're following solid leads. Each time Jake asked if Amy wants to talk to him, but she just shrugs and waves off the phone in Rosa's hand.

"Just tell him I know he can catch that guy, so do it." Rosa rolls her eyes and tells Jake that they're all fine here and not to worry. She leaves to go interrogate some people almost immediately after, leaving Amy to sit next to Gina, who keeps staring at her.

"Don't you have work to do?" Amy asks the fourth time she looks over to see Gina's intense stare.

"Are you in labor right now?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous." Amy says a bit too loudly.

Gina makes a face. "You keep doing that close your eyes and breathing thing - which means you're having contractions. Contractions mean labor, boo."

Amy scoffs, "Contractions are not that big of a deal. I've been having them for a week and look! No baby!" Gina just raises her eyebrows in disbelief and Amy rolls her eyes. "Even if I _was_ in labor - they'd have to be a lot closer together for me to worry."

"So you are having contractions?"

"One or two." Amy admits.

"Then I'm calling Jake." Gina grabs her phone and starts punching in numbers, but Amy grabs her arm in a vice grip.

"You are _not_ calling Jake. He'll be back soon anyway, and they're not even close together so it doesn't matter."

Amy stares Gina down until she puts down the phone, and she lets go of her arm. "Fine. But I'm gonna time you, and I'm gonna prove you're in labor." Amy just rolls her eyes as Gina picks up her phone again. "Captain? Yeah, we need you out here."

Amy barely has the time to look confused before Holt is in front of them. "What's the matter, Gina?"

"Amy's in labor." She gestures to Amy next to her.

"No sir, I'm - " Amy shuts her eyes then, taking a deep breath and holding it in.

"Start!" Gina has her cell phone in front of her, the timer going, watching Amy's face intently. She exhales slowly and breathes in one more time before she opens her eyes, glaring at Gina. "I dunno Ames -pretty sure that was a contraction."

Amy glares at her. "If you're going to time me at least do it properly - from the start of one to the start of the next one."

"Okay. Sure thing."

Holt is staring at Amy when she turns back to him. "Santiago, if you're in labor, we need to get you to the hospital and call Peralta immediately."

Amy refrains from rolling her eyes again, but sighs more loudly in exasperation than normal. "Sir - I already explained to Gina I'm not in labor, and even if I was, the contractions are so far apart I don't need to go to the hospital for a while still - giving Jake plenty of time to bring in his collar." Her voice is low and soothing, making Holt put his phone back in his pocket.

"I admit Jake bringing in Johnson is not something I want to prevent, and I know very little about labor and delivery, so - for the time being I will defer to you." Gina's mouth opens to protest, but Holt goes on. "Gina, you're going to monitor her contractions and make  the judgment call on when to call Jake."

"Of course - Amy, that means I'm in charge of you," she says, grinning.

Amy shakes her head. "Alright. Well, boss - I'm going to sit here and read, so have fun watching me."

* * *

 

The next hour and a half passes by slowly. Every ten minutes Holt comes out of his office to ask if Amy's had any more contractions and how far apart they are. Scully and Hitchcock act afraid of her, and keep bringing her a cup full of ice like a peace offering. Amy chucks at least one or two pieces from each cup back at them out of boredom and spite.

Gina pretends to act normal the best, setting up appointments and answering the phone, but whenever she needs to make a copy or fax something she wheels Amy in front of her. She also announces every time Amy has a contraction.

"Ooh, timer! Contraction!" Gina shouts, stopping everything to stare intently at Amy's face, not even bothering to ask or let Amy tell her when one starts or stops. Amy just closes her eyes and concentrates on breathing.

Once she opens her eyes again, Gina wheels her slowly back across the bullpen, all eyes on her. "Just a pregnant woman being wheeled around! Nothing to see here!" she calls out to the criminals, beat cops, and food delivery guys staring at her.

"Ames," Gina starts sweetly, "you're down past the twenty minute mark - think it's time to call Jake yet?"

"No."

"'No,'" she mocks, parking the chair next to her desk. "Fine. But just so you know - I am not delivering this baby here - my job is to time and monitor. Or call Jake - who, by the way, is going to kill all of us for not telling him you're in labor."

Amy just rolls her eyes. "Just help me up," she says, holding out her hands.

"Why, are you leaving?"

Amy glares. "I'm tired of sitting."

"Santiago!" Rosa shouts across the bullpen, rushing over to Gina and Amy. "You're in labor right now?!"

"Yes," Gina answers, still struggling to get Amy upright. "And she's totally ignoring it."

"I'm not -"

"Amy, I told you this morning - Jake shouldn't have come in with you today. You can't give birth in a police precinct with your husband off chasing a criminal!"

Amy shakes her head and starts walking towards the break room. "I'm not giving birth here."

Gina and Rosa both follow her, both of their cell phones out in front of them. "At least let me call Jake and see where they are with Johnson." Rosa offers as Gina rounds to the front of Amy, watching her expression carefully.

"And give away their position? No way!"

Terry's sitting down in the break room, but stands up, abandoning his lunch, when they all walk in. "Amy, how are you doing? How are the contractions? Has your water broken? What do you need?"

"I'm fine, Terry - I just need everyone to stop freaking out."

Terry nods but doesn't step back from the group hovering around Amy. "How far apart are your contractions?"

Amy doesn't say anything, trying to move past the wall of people, so Gina answers. "She's closing in on fifteen minutes between contractions."

"And Jake's still not here yet?" Terry looks out into the bullpen hopefully.

"No, and she refuses to let us call him." Rosa yells again.

"You know what you can do for me, Terry?" Amy chimes, looking directly him.

"What?"

"Do you have one of those exercise balls? I thought there was one in here but it's gone. Can you get one for me?"

Terry looks around for a few seconds before nodding and leaving the room to look for one.

Amy smiles and starts walking slowly around the break room, wandering from one spot to the next. She reaches into one of her dress pockets and pulls out a hair tie, calmly putting her hair up in a ponytail as Rosa and Gina watch her.

"Detective Diaz?" A patrol cop pops her head into the room.

"What?"

"One of your witnesses is here."

"Which one?"

"The daughter."

Rosa sighs and then says, "Amy. Call Jake."

Amy watches her walk away, and sticks her tongue out at her retreating back.

"Real mature, Ames," Gina quips.

"I don't have to be mature, I'm in labor, remember?"

Gina doesn't respond, she just sits down to watch Amy waddle around the room. A few minutes later Amy stops where she stands, closing her eyes, breathing in through her nose and out her mouth.

"Contraction time, okay." Gina stands up to take her position in front of her, timer poised. Amy reaches out and grabs both of her arms, gently squeezing them. "Oh, boo - they're getting really bad, aren't they?"

Amy takes a few more deep breaths before answering. "Not _bad_ , but more powerful."

Terry and Rosa rush back into the room as Amy relaxes her grip on Gina and starts moving.

"Breathe, Amy, breathe!" Terry's shouting at her.

"I'm calling Jake right now, I swear to God."

She's swatting at them, trying to keep moving while avoiding Terry's unhelpful breathing and Rosa holding out her cell phone in front of her.

"Hey, where is everybody?" They hear Boyle's voice in the bullpen.

Rosa rushes out. "Boyle, what the hell? Where's Jake?"

Charles's face lights up as he explains to Rosa. "So we got Johnson, right? Then across the street we see Doug Judy walking - thinking he's so great - "

"Charles!"

"Right. So we split up, and Jake's gonna bring him in."

Amy waddles out of the break room, followed by her entourage. "Charles! You got Johnson! Awesome!" She goes in for the high five, and he enthusiastically slaps her hand.

"Call Jake _now_ ," Rosa growls out.

"No!" Amy makes to grab her arm.

"What?" Charles rounds on Rosa, confused. "It's Doug Judy! I thought you'd be happy!"

"Amy's in labor!"

"What?!" He looks at Amy open-mouthed as Scully approaches, a cup of ice in his hands. He holds it out to her and she takes it, throwing the first piece at Rosa, then one at Terry.

Captain Holt comes out of his office then, and seeing Boyle he lets out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. Now that Johnson is in, Amy can go to the hospital."

Rosa goes over to the Captain. "Sir, Jake isn't here because he saw the Pontiac Bandit. Please let me call him or go after him or _something_."

"No!" Amy shouts from where she's standing. "Charles said he was just across the street from them - they'll be here in no time."

Holt turns to Boyle, his arms crossed in front of him. "Explain how this happened."

Charles opens his mouth, but a second later he loses all the attention in the room as it switches to Amy.

She stops moving , closing her eyes and inhaling a deep breath. After a second, she reaches out for Gina's arms, grabbing on when Gina puts them in her hands. Terry's at her shoulder, breathing rhythmically very loudly at her, pausing to say "Breathe!" occasionally, while Rosa stares wide-eyed and frozen in place. Charles's expression mirrors Rosa's, but he keeps saying, "Oh my God this is really happening!"

Holt starts to pace, muttering, "I don't know what to do, I should know what to do." All the while Amy breathes slowly in and out while Gina watches her phone.

Amy and Gina both relax at the same time, but it takes at least a minute for everyone else to catch on that the contraction is over.

"Gina, how far apart are they?" Holt asks as soon as she can hear him.

"Ten minutes," she answers, not looking at Holt or Amy.

Holt hesitates, glancing between Amy and Gina uncertainly. "Fine. You're staying here until Jake gets here. I'm only saying that because he's on his way anyway, so it won't be that long."

Everyone nods in agreement.

* * *

 

'Not that long' ends up lasting through three more contractions with virtually the whole squad huddled around Amy, who closes her eyes and breathes slowly through it. She's walking slowly around the groups of desks when Jake walks into the bullpen.

"Doug Judy, ladies and gentlemen! The Pontiac Bandit himself!" Jake takes a bow - then noticing the lack of applause starts toward the clump of people surrounding his desk. "Okay, I know my wife is a gorgeous pregnant woman, but give her some space!"

"You're gonna be a Daddy, Peralta? Congrats, dude!" Judy yells across the room.

The group all turns toward him, and Rosa's the first to speak. "Amy's in labor and she wouldn't let us call you!"

Jake and Amy lock eyes then, and Amy tells him, "I'm fine."

"That doesn't mean you're not in labor!" Jake is in front of Amy, taking Gina's spot. "Has your water broken?" Jake's holding her hands tightly.

"She won't tell us!"

Amy just shrugs at Jake. "I dunno."

He smiles and shakes his head slightly. "Of course you don't. I'm gonna check you, okay?"

Amy nods, and Jake drops to the floor and scoots under her sundress. The group of their colleagues stands around them gaping, and she says irritably, "Someone should go make sure that criminal he just brought in gets processed properly." No one takes note except Hitchcock, who does push Doug Judy over into the holding cell.

"Oh my God!" Jake exclaims, "Amy!" He scuffles to get to his feet. "Oh my God!"

"The baby isn't coming out now, is it?" Holt asks, panicked.

"No," Jake answers, taking off the latex glove he must have had in his pocket while he picks up one of the bags sitting next to his desk.

"What?" Amy asks, following Jake around with her eyes, rooted in one spot next to Gina physically.

Jake holds up his hand to her. "Two plus. Almost three." He makes a motion to move to the door, but Amy doesn't move.

She breathes in deeply through her nose and closes her eyes. Jake moves back over to her and grabs onto her hands.

"I'll drive - I'm getting the car," Holt says, walking briskly out of the bullpen and onto the stairs.

"Terry, I got the breathing down," Jake ends up saying loudly, making Terry step back sheepishly.

When Amy opens her eyes, Jake doesn't move to pick up the bags again. Instead, he rotates around Amy so that he's standing next to her, his arms snaked around her back, still clutching her hands. "Almost three, really?" Amy asks as they start moving forward, her voice faint.

"Yeah, babe," Jake answers softly. "You're doing great." He looks back briefly. "Gina, grab the bags, you're coming with, I want to know everything."

Gina picks up the bags without a word, following them into the elevator. Charles turns to Terry. "Three centimeters isn't very much though, is it?"

Terry squints in the direction they went, thinking. "No, but I don't think he meant centimeters."

* * *

Captain Holt gets them all to the hospital in plenty of time, and refuses to leave the maternity ward until the baby is born. Once they're at the hospital, Amy gives into the pain, yelling and moaning, relying wholly on Jake to get her through - leaving Gina as the only clear-headed party. She calls Kevin to join Ray in the waiting room to play the role of anxious grandparents, which they accept. She also keeps the squad updated and gets Amy’s and Jake’s mothers to the hospital just before the baby starts crowning.’

After an hour of pushing, Jake and Amy's daughter finally makes an appearance, and the whole squad manages to breathe a sigh of relief and happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you couldn't tell, this is a head canon I keep very near and dear to my heart. I hope you love it as much as I do (mostly that Jake is a great pregnancy/labor/birth partner and Holt will act like Grandpa!Holt). 
> 
> Random stuff:
> 
> 1) Mystery pocket!latex glove? I COULD NOT HAVE JAKE CHECK AMY'S CERVIX WITH DIRTY HANDS. I JUST COULDN'T.
> 
> 2) Labor takes AGES. Even before people are in regular contraction labor, their cervix is probably dilated a few centimeters. There are three stages of labor and three stages of delivery. For most of this fic, Amy is in stage 2 labor, having just left stage 1.
> 
> 3) But wait, how could Amy not know if her water broke? She's wearing a pad! No big deal.
> 
> 4) I actually have a canon for why it took so long for Jake to get back after Charles got back, and mostly it involves pursuit on foot instead of in cars. Also not spooking Doug Judy and the necessity of public transport.
> 
> If you want, you should go look up labor and delivery information. It's FASCINATING, and all over the internet. (If you're really into it, watch the documentary "Business of Being Born" that Ricki Lake did. It's astonishing.)
> 
> I hope you loved/liked/give kudos to this fic!!! It's been in my head basically since last year's finale, and it now owns a portion of my soul. Please comment or ask questions!!! Please write other baby/pregnancy fics with Jake and Amy. It sustains me. It's like oatmeal.


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